Day #1: Happy New Year!

Happy New Year to you all. I hope you had a good time last night. I stayed in with my good friend John Bon Jovial and watched the fireworks. Then just after midnight I got a phone call, and a small sleepy voice said ‘Hello Mummy’, which was the best New Year’s present ever.

Anyhow: perhaps it’s the fact that it’s a new decade starting as well as a new year, but I’ve noticed many more people making resolutions and setting goals. I think this is a very good thing: it means soul-searching and identifying positive changes we need to make for a better and happier life.

Of course, there will always be cynics. Read this Guardian article by some sarcastic journalist called Ariane Sherine, written exactly ten years ago today, and weep! (What can I say? A lot has changed in the last ten years.)

These days, I love making and keeping goals and resolutions. If your new life starts today too, I hope this blog can be helpful for you – and if you’re eschewing resolutions, then I hope it can be entertaining.

I would sound one note of caution if you’re in the same position as me, full of enthusiasm to change: be aware that striving for your goals will never be easier than it is today, when you’re full of willpower and optimism, all fired up and ready to go.

Motivation is perishable, and your enthusiasm will decline. Last year, my diet went perfectly until 11th January, at which point it collapsed. I’m not saying change isn’t possible: just read any issue of Slimming World magazine to see that it is.

But I am saying that you need to commit fully to your resolutions and be aware that it will take time, patience and consistent effort to achieve them. It won’t happen overnight, and it definitely won’t happen if you lose interest and pursue short-term pleasure over long-term reward.

As for my own resolutions, let’s take stock of the situation. Today I weigh 12st 8.4lbs, which is obese but isn’t a complete disaster. It’s nearly two stone less than I weighed last year at 14st 7.5lbs, and I only have to lose a stone to get from the ‘obese’ BMI category back into the ‘overweight’ category.

IMG_4477.jpg

Here’s a very unflattering picture of me this morning. A quick assessment of my body:

Chin: has spawned and given birth to triplets

Boobs: 40E. So massive and saggy I’m basically doing keepy uppies with them

Waist: 41″. Thicker than that girl on Pointless who thought Paris was a ‘country ending in two consonants’

Hips: 46″. More hippy than 1967

IMG_4479.jpg

Ideal measurements:

Boobs: 32D. Perfect little satsumas, like they used to be

Waist: 25″. No idea if this is possible at my age, but I’d like to try

Hips: 35″. I really don’t need them to be any bigger

Chins: Just the one, please

It’s past 12.30 so I’m off to have my first meal of the year: smashed avocado on sourdough toast (avocado, coriander, cayenne pepper, lime juice) with a B12 tablet, a green coffee capsule and a green tea capsule, washed down with a glass of Evian and a mug of green tea.

Then I’m going to go for a brisk walk and do a bit of shopping in order to hit my Apple Watch exercise goals. I hope you have a fun and productive first day of the decade!

Takeaways

Making resolutions and setting goals is a very good thing: it means soul-searching and identifying positive changes we need to make for a better and happier life.

Be aware that striving for your goals will never be easier than it is today, when you’re full of willpower and optimism, all fired up and ready to go.

Motivation is perishable, and your enthusiasm will decline. Change is possible, but you need to commit fully to your resolutions and be aware that it will take time, patience and consistent effort to achieve them.

It won’t happen overnight, and it definitely won’t happen if you lose interest and pursue short-term pleasure over long-term reward.

Quote of the Day

“You have to set goals that are almost out of reach. If you set a goal that is attainable without much work or thought, you are stuck with something below your true talent and potential.” — Steve Garvey

This post has been made possible by my awesome Patreon supporters Peter Weilgony, Ricky Steer, Marc Alexander, Sammy and Jelly, John Fleming, Mary Clarke, Matthew Sylvester, Brian Engler, Jack Scanlan, Dave Nattriss, MusicalComedyGuide.com, Mark White, Lucy Spencer, Shane Jarvis, Graham Nunn and Marcus P Knight.

They receive a whole host of exciting rewards in addition to this credit, including my secret never-published fiction and top secret photos! If you enjoyed this post, please support me on Patreon.

Rewards start from just $1 a month for my weekly Patreon email. It’s like this blog, but I’m even more open in it (if you can imagine that!)

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10 thoughts on “Day #1: Happy New Year!”

  1. A D cup is satsuma size? Where do you buy your satsumas? (Bearing in mind that I’m not an expert on fruit or women’s underwear.)

    On a more solemn note, have a happy new year and if someone can hold onto your new year resolutions, it’s you.

    1. Ha ha, small satsumas! They stick out and are perfectly formed, unlike the two large oranges in socks I currently own…

      Thank you so much. I hope you have a wonderful 2020 and new decade too.

  2. I have lost 12 kgs in 50 days !! please dont ask me why 😦 So that part of your blogging journey doesn’t really apply to me but the soul searching, acting on the plan, the motivation and patience are all so very relevant.

    So excited to track my journey, to successful ends while I simultaneously watch you achieve yours, thank you for the help.

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