Day #3: It’s my birthday!* (*in six months)

A late blog today as I’ve been spending time with Lily. I don’t want her to grow up and be in therapy saying ‘My mum never spent time with me!’ (Though if you need therapy, I can recommend a very good book.)

Lily is the best, and I feel super-lucky to be spending four days with her, even if she does need a haircut.


She reckons most board and card games are best played with three people. Fortunately, my comedian mate James Harris came round today and so we played pretty much everything in the games cupboard together: Cluedo, UNO, Werewolves and two card games called Set and Donkey.

We also went out to the Sunflower Cafe. James had an extra-large hot chocolate and chocolate biscuit; Lily had chocolate ice cream in a cone with extra chocolate sauce; I was good and had nothing.

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Whenever I feel deprived, I have to remind myself that I’m mainly in this position because I’ve had way more than my fair share of desserts in the past! Eliminate all the desserts I’ve had over the last decade and I’d probably shrink to at least a size 10.

After we left James, Lily demanded we go grocery shopping, which meant more temptation for me. Her haul included a massive tub of triple-chocolate ice cream, 12 chocolate chip muffins and a packet of sultana scones.

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Wanting sweet treats for myself, I bought strawberries, raspberries, blackberries, bananas and a satsuma.

The diet is paying off though: I’ve now lost nearly 4lbs in the last two days!

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Days: 2

Total loss: 3.8lbs

Still need to lose: 63.6lbs

Yesterday I ate:

Porridge with flaxseeds, banana, blueberries, raspberries and walnuts
Two slices of sourdough toast with almond butter and banana
Salad made of cherry tomatoes, radishes, celery, coriander, button mushrooms and yellow pepper
Five super seeded oatcakes with date syrup

Exercise: hit all my Apple Watch goals again.

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In exactly six months today, I’ll be celebrating my 40th birthday – and you’re invited! I’ll be hiring a pub room in Central London so I can invite all my friends, patrons, blog readers, Facebook page fans and Twitter followers to have drinks with me. I’ve been visualising myself as confident and slim in a red size 8 dress (of which I’ve bought no fewer than three that I haven’t yet been able to wear – seriously, my ‘skinny clothes’ outnumber my ‘fat clothes’ 4:1, and I’ve purchased literally 50 outfits in the past two years for that mystical future date when I’ll be slender again!)

Well, that date is Friday 3rd July 2020 (providing WWIII hasn’t started by then). As a skeptic, I don’t, of course, believe that by visualising myself as a size 8 in a sexy red dress, my new slim body will magically ‘manifest’ by that date without me taking action to make it so! I just think that keeping that image in mind may help me focus on the end goal and swerve temptations like having triple-chocolate ice cream in the house.

This trick can apply to any goal, from diet to fitness to work successes (visualising getting a publishing deal might help you power through writing a novel, for instance; or imagining being promoted at work to great applause could help you slog through compiling yet another PowerPoint presentation).

It’s also a good idea to set a specific goal and date for your achievement, as that focuses the mind. So if mine is being size 8 in a red dress on 3rd July when I turn 40, yours might be being able to bench press 100kgs by your marriage anniversary on 1st September, or getting promoted to deputy manager by your work anniversary on 19th November. (Choose a date with personal significance though, don’t just stick a pin in the calendar!)

Lastly, make a list of all the things you’re going to be able to do when you achieve your goal. I currently have no choice but to go on tour while overweight, but it will be a relief to be able to stand on stage at the later tour dates and not have the whole audience think ‘God she’s fat!’

Other things I’m looking forward to this year after I lose the weight include: training and practising as a humanist celebrant; seeing Duran Duran on tour for the first time since I was a teenager; doing a 5K with my friend Lucy; having a romantic relationship again; making lots of funny music videos; enjoying the book launch for my new book How to Live to 100 in October; and maybe even being a contestant on my favourite terrestrial TV showChannel 4’s First Dates. 

Takeaways

Visualise yourself achieving your goal by a certain date that is personal to you. Drill down into the specifics to focus your mind – for instance, ‘I want to be a size 8 and look great in this red dress by 3rd July’, not ‘I want to lose some weight this year’ (because as far as your mind is concerned, that could literally be 1lb by 31st December!)

Make a list of all the things you’re going to enjoy once you’ve achieved your goal. For me, these include having a supportive romantic relationship and starting an exciting new career, as well as seeing my favourite band and enjoying my book launch. How will your life improve once you reach that milestone?

Quote of the Day

“Keep exploring. Keep dreaming. Keep asking why. Don’t settle for what you already know. Never stop believing in the power of your ideas, your imagination, your hard work to change the world.” – Barack Obama

PS Here are the 20 final tour dates I’m doing for my latest book Talk Yourself Better! They’re all around the country so hopefully there’ll be one near you. The talk is funny, sad and entertaining and has been going down really well across the UK. I’ll be selling copies of my book at a 30% discount so can sign one for you or a friend. I hope to meet you at a tour date soon!

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This post has been made possible by my awesome Patreon supporters Peter Weilgony, Ricky Steer, Marc Alexander, Sammy and Jelly, John Fleming, Mary Clarke, Matthew Sylvester, Brian Engler, Jack Scanlan, Dave Nattriss, MusicalComedyGuide.com, Mark White, Lucy Spencer, Shane Jarvis, Graham Nunn and Marcus P Knight.

They receive a whole host of exciting rewards in addition to this credit, including my secret never-published fiction and top secret photos! If you enjoyed this post, please support me on Patreon.

Rewards start from just $1 a month for my weekly Patreon email. It’s like this blog, but I’m even more open in it (if you can imagine that!)

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8 thoughts on “Day #3: It’s my birthday!* (*in six months)”

  1. You must tell me what Werewolves is. I know of one werewolf based board game but not sure if it’s this one. I love a good board game. Cluedo is one of my favourite, alongside Scotland Yard.

    Good advice about visualisation and setting goals for the year. One of my friends told me something similar once, back in December 2015, I followed her advice and it worked. I had two goals : become a father and get a house. This year it is get a book published. Will try to follow your advices.

    And I see my son is not the only one who likes the Highlands cattle look. But that’s because he hates, hates, hates haircuts.

    1. Werewolves is this game: https://beziergames.com/products/one-night-ultimate-werewolf

      I don’t personally enjoy it much, but Lily loves it!

      Wow. So pleased that setting goals to become a dad and buy a house worked for you. Good luck with your book publication. If you get a publishing deal, though, it’s likely to be 18 months before the book comes out – so you could get a book published this year but it would have to be self-published in the time frame.

      Ha ha, I see a lot of kids with the Highland cattle look! But Lily is actually growing out her fringe, hence the length.

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