Day #17: Cycling my diet

I weigh the same today, as I ate a bit more yesterday. There was a really interesting study published a couple of years ago where dieters ate less for two weeks, then ate the amount that would make them plateau for two weeks – for 32 weeks in total. There was a control group who dieted all the time. The group who cycled their diets lost twice as much weight.

I’m wondering whether the same thing would work if you did it day-on, day-off. Only one way to find out! I’m going to start trying it. Let’s see what happens…

Diet update

Days: 16

Total loss: 7.6lbs

Still need to lose: 59.8lbs

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This post has been made possible by my awesome Patreon supporters Peter Weilgony, Ricky Steer, Marc Alexander, Sammy and Jelly, John Fleming, Mary Clarke, Matthew Sylvester, Brian Engler, Jack Scanlan, Dave Nattriss, MusicalComedyGuide.com, Mark White, Lucy Spencer, Shane Jarvis, Graham Nunn and Marcus P Knight.

They receive a whole host of exciting rewards in addition to this credit, including my secret never-published fiction and top secret photos! If you enjoyed this post, please support me on Patreon

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Day #16: Just a quick check-in

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Just a super-quick check-in today to say that I’ve lost more weight! I’ve learned that eating three times a day works best for me – at 12pm, 4pm and 8pm – eating 400 calories each time. Now I have less than 60lbs left to lose. Can’t wait to get down below 12 stone! Hopefully that’ll happen tomorrow or on Saturday.

Diet update

Days: 15

Total loss: 7.6lbs

Still need to lose: 59.8lbs

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This post has been made possible by my awesome Patreon supporters Peter Weilgony, Ricky Steer, Marc Alexander, Sammy and Jelly, John Fleming, Mary Clarke, Matthew Sylvester, Brian Engler, Jack Scanlan, Dave Nattriss, MusicalComedyGuide.com, Mark White, Lucy Spencer, Shane Jarvis, Graham Nunn and Marcus P Knight.

They receive a whole host of exciting rewards in addition to this credit, including my secret never-published fiction and top secret photos! If you enjoyed this post, please support me on Patreon

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Day #15: Keeping up your motivation

I’ve long realised that motivation wanes throughout the day. It’s often super-high when we wake up, but then we often forget our goals in favour of pleasure and taking it easy.

I thought: ‘If only there were a way of keeping my motivation high all the time!’ Some people get tattoos of their motivational mottos, but that seemed a little drastic.

Then I thought: ‘I could buy bracelets with the slogans on’ – but luckily, before buying any, I realised I’d forgotten that I actually make and sell name bracelets here!

I’d never considered using them for motivational messages before, but yesterday I crafted three bracelets to fit my wrist. I chose dark colours to go with the black dresses I wear on tour, but lots of cheery colourful letters are also available on eBay if you prefer bright colours and fancy making your own bracelets.

I had a limited number of characters available, so this one is for the slogan ‘The hard way now produces an easy way later. The easy way now produces a hard way later.’

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This is true for everything from dieting to exercise to work to childcare. Love your kid with all your heart and soul and be attentive, no matter how boring the activities they want you to pay attention to, and they’ll love you back. Pay no attention to your kid and you’ll eventually get a depressed kid who doesn’t want to spend time with you.

The next bracelet says ‘Build a life for yourself’.

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This exercise I’ve created is about imagining yourself outside of your body, and answering the questions: ‘If you had to build a perfect life for this person, what would you have them do? What would they eat? How would they train? How hard would they work? How would they parent?’

Often, we can’t be objective about our own activities and it’s easy to take the lazier, more pleasurable route through life. By imagining yourself as someone else, you distance yourself and so building a perfect life for yourself is easier – almost like playing a video game. What do you want your character to achieve, and how will you get them there?

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The last bracelet just says ‘Make yourself proud’ – which I discuss here.

Since I’ve been wearing the bracelets, I haven’t binged and I’ve definitely been more aware of my actions. I’ll let you know how it goes.

Diet update

Days: 14

Total loss: 6.8lbs

Still need to lose: 60.6lbs

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Takeaways

The easy way now produces a hard way later. This is true for everything from dieting to exercise to work to childcare. Put in maximum effort now and reap the rewards later. Slack off now and pay the price later.

Build a life for yourself. Imagine yourself outside of your body, as though you were a video game character. Ask yourself: ‘If you had to build a perfect life for this character, what would you have them do? What would they eat? How would they train? How hard would they work? How would they parent?’

Make your motivational slogans visible. If you don’t like the idea of using name bracelets (which are cheap and super-comfortable to wear), elegant bangles are available too – or you could opt for a discreet tattoo.

Quote of the Day

‘A dream doesn’t become reality through magic. It takes sweat, determination and hard work.’ – Colin Powell

This post has been made possible by my awesome Patreon supporters Peter Weilgony, Ricky Steer, Marc Alexander, Sammy and Jelly, John Fleming, Mary Clarke, Matthew Sylvester, Brian Engler, Jack Scanlan, Dave Nattriss, MusicalComedyGuide.com, Mark White, Lucy Spencer, Shane Jarvis, Graham Nunn and Marcus P Knight.

They receive a whole host of exciting rewards in addition to this credit, including my secret never-published fiction and top secret photos! If you enjoyed this post, please support me on Patreon

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Day #14: Almost forgot to blog!

Back down in weight again, thank goodness. Now off to sleep! Lots of love to you all.

This post has been made possible by my awesome Patreon supporters Peter Weilgony, Ricky Steer, Marc Alexander, Sammy and Jelly, John Fleming, Mary Clarke, Matthew Sylvester, Brian Engler, Jack Scanlan, Dave Nattriss, MusicalComedyGuide.com, Mark White, Lucy Spencer, Shane Jarvis, Graham Nunn and Marcus P Knight.

They receive a whole host of exciting rewards in addition to this credit, including my secret never-published fiction and top secret photos! If you enjoyed this post, please support me on Patreon

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Day #13: Unlucky for some

I’ve realised that this has turned into a stealth blog, read only by those who know about it. I’m not tweeting about it because, though friends and strangers humour me, only a few really want to know about my weight loss journey. So thank you for reading and caring – I hope you find my tips helpful.

When I was doing WeightWatchers at the start of last year, the woman in charge asked ‘What is your Why?’ She meant: why do you want to lose weight – what’s the big reason? I have a few.

One is to make myself proud. I don’t believe you can have high self-esteem without being proud of yourself. If you shovel chocolate into your face all day for a long time and end up being very large and heavy as a result, it’s hard to feel good about yourself. I want to like looking in the mirror, not feel ashamed.

Another reason is to make my daughter proud of me. I want to turn up at her school and have her feel glad I’m her mum, not be embarrassed because I’m so big and clothes look terrible on me. I want to show her that you can set a goal and achieve it. And I want to model healthy eating for her, not disordered eating.

And then there are all my other goals: to be slender and fit into a sexy red dress at my birthday party; to star in my comedy music videos; to look great at my book launch; to go to a Duran Duran gig and feel confident; to have hot sex and feel as though the other person fancies me.

None of these fit in with eating whatever I want, whenever I want. That’s the crux of it.

So today I am going to make myself a bracelet with ‘MAKE YOURSELF PROUD’ on it, and wear it all the time. (My jewellery-making skills come in handy sometimes!). I hope it’ll keep me on track.

By the way, I’m on tour again tomorrow and on Wednesday, so will only be doing miniature blogs then.

Diet update

I am truly plateauing. But that’s OK. Sooner or later, my weight will drop again. It has to if I’m in a caloric deficit – that’s science!

Days: 12

Total loss: 5.6lbs

Still need to lose: 61.8lbs

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Takeaways

Make yourself proud. Only by doing your best will you feel good about yourself.

Work out why you’re dieting. What do you want to achieve? What will make the biggest difference to your life, and how will you feel when you reach your goal?

Choose a motto that motivates you. Get it made into a bracelet and wear it. (You could also get a tattoo but that seems a bit drastic!)

This post has been made possible by my awesome Patreon supporters Peter Weilgony, Ricky Steer, Marc Alexander, Sammy and Jelly, John Fleming, Mary Clarke, Matthew Sylvester, Brian Engler, Jack Scanlan, Dave Nattriss, MusicalComedyGuide.com, Mark White, Lucy Spencer, Shane Jarvis, Graham Nunn and Marcus P Knight.

They receive a whole host of exciting rewards in addition to this credit, including my secret never-published fiction and top secret photos! If you enjoyed this post, please support me on Patreon

 

 

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Day #12: Time and patience

My body feels so much better when it’s lithe and slender. Now, my fingers are uncomfortably plump, my head rests on a chin cushion of fat and my stomach sits on my thighs when I’m on the toilet. I feel heavy and full and as though everything is an effort. I can’t wait to be skinny again.

The hardest thing about weight loss is it takes so much time, especially if you have a lot to lose, as I do. I’m reminded of Coldplay: ‘Nobody said it was easy/Nobody said it would be so hard’. The next lyric is ‘I’m going back to the start’, which is something I keep doing in my weight loss journey, yo-yoing and undoing all my good work.

Perhaps this is a chance to learn patience, and perseverance, and consistency, and restraint: four things I’m not very good at. I always want everything now, which goes for chocolate biscuits as much as career achievements. Maybe there’s something to be said for waiting, and striving, and letting the rewards fall where they may instead of grasping for them all the time.

Anyhow, now it’s time for beans on toast.

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Diet update

Days: 11

Total loss: 5.6lbs

Still need to lose: 61.8lbs

Scales

This post has been made possible by my awesome Patreon supporters Peter Weilgony, Ricky Steer, Marc Alexander, Sammy and Jelly, John Fleming, Mary Clarke, Matthew Sylvester, Brian Engler, Jack Scanlan, Dave Nattriss, MusicalComedyGuide.com, Mark White, Lucy Spencer, Shane Jarvis, Graham Nunn and Marcus P Knight.

They receive a whole host of exciting rewards in addition to this credit, including my secret never-published fiction and top secret photos! If you enjoyed this post, please support me on Patreon

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Day #11: When life gives you lemons

I weigh more again today. Clearly that’s my fault, and I have to take responsibility – but I’m pretty sure it’s also the fault of lemonade.

You see, I love the stuff. I drink diet lemonade at home (1 calorie per glass) so when I’m on tour, and the host kindly offers me a drink, I choose lemonade. Sweet, sour tangy lemonade always hits the spot.

I wasn’t really factoring it into my day, but I’ve since discovered that a pint of non-diet lemonade is 230 calories! And I was having two pints.

Next time, I’ll drink plain water. It’s boring, but at least it’s calorie-free.

On Reddit’s weight loss forum r/loseit (my guilty pleasure), whenever someone claims they can’t lose weight, Redditors tell them there must be hidden calories somewhere in their diet. I think we’ve found my hidden calories.

Today I’m going to be really good: start hitting my Apple Watch goals again, eat my five-a-day and weigh less again tomorrow. It’s hard to hit your Apple Watch goals on tour: if you’re seated on a packed train for three hours with people standing in the aisle and all your belongings under your seat, you can’t really get up and walk around! ‘Excuse me, I need to hit my Stand goal – can everybody move out of my way and clear a path for me?’

But I’m now home until Tuesday, so have three full days in which to be virtuous. I’m going to the cinema today with the eight-year-old to see Little Women, so my Stand ring on my Apple Watch is going to miss an hour – but I’ve woken up early so can still close it if I’m good.

I hope you all have a wonderful weekend.

Scales

Diet update

Days: 10

Total loss: 5.6lbs

Still need to lose: 61.8lbs

Takeaways

If you ‘can’t lose weight’, look for the hidden calories in your diet.

Remember that drinks can contain lots of calories as well as food.

Also bear in mind that calories in drinks don’t fill you up.

When offered a drink, it’s always best to choose water.

Quote of the Day

“Three months from now, you will thank yourself” – Anon

This post has been made possible by my awesome Patreon supporters Peter Weilgony, Ricky Steer, Marc Alexander, Sammy and Jelly, John Fleming, Mary Clarke, Matthew Sylvester, Brian Engler, Jack Scanlan, Dave Nattriss, MusicalComedyGuide.com, Mark White, Lucy Spencer, Shane Jarvis, Graham Nunn and Marcus P Knight.

They receive a whole host of exciting rewards in addition to this credit, including my secret never-published fiction and top secret photos! If you enjoyed this post, please support me on Patreon

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