Lockdown Diary #35: Letting go

I looked at myself in the mirror, obese and dishevelled with white roots showing in my hair, and thought: ‘I’ve let myself go.’

Then it struck me that, in other areas of one’s life, ‘letting go’ is a positive thing, associated with freedom and closure.

And there is a certain amount of freedom in not caring what you look like. You’re free of the constraints of having to dye your hair every three weeks, and get a weekly blow dry, and have your eyebrows shaped, and remove all your unwanted body hair, and put on makeup each day.

These things take time, effort and money. But you can only be free of them if you’re prepared to accept and not care about society’s judgement of you – otherwise, the burden of that judgement is the price you pay for your freedom, and means you’re not really free at all.

This post has been made possible by my awesome Patreon supporters Peter Weilgony, Ricky Steer, Charlie Brooker, Mary and Tim Fowler, Steve Richards, Alan Brookland, Mark Ormandy, Oliver Vass, Keith Bell, John Fleming, Mark Bailey, Rebekah Bennetch, Matthew Sylvester, Brian Engler, Jack Scanlan, Dave Nattriss, MusicalComedyGuide.com, Aragorn Strider, Mark White, Lucy Spencer, Shane Jarvis, Emily Hill and Marcus P Knight.

If you enjoyed this blog, please support me on Patreon from just £1 a month and you’ll get to read a lot more of my writing.

 

Posted in Uncategorized

Lockdown Diary #34: Rummy

I just taught the nine-year-old the card game Rummy. One of my happiest childhood memories (thankfully there are a few) was staying with my loving grandparents in Leicester, where my wonderful Nan would play Rummy with me. I remember her bangles clicking and her long hot pink-painted fingernails clacking as she rearranged her cards.

She usually won, and it turns out that the nine-year-old has inherited her talent. We played a ‘best-of-three’ set yesterday, and she beat me by winning two games in a row, meaning we didn’t even play all three!

Maybe Rummy will become one of her happiest childhood memories too. I hope there will be thousands of sweet memories for her to choose from.

This post has been made possible by my awesome Patreon supporters Peter Weilgony, Ricky Steer, Charlie Brooker, Mary and Tim Fowler, Steve Richards, Alan Brookland, Mark Ormandy, Oliver Vass, Keith Bell, John Fleming, Mark Bailey, Rebekah Bennetch, Matthew Sylvester, Brian Engler, Jack Scanlan, Dave Nattriss, MusicalComedyGuide.com, Aragorn Strider, Mark White, Lucy Spencer, Shane Jarvis, Emily Hill and Marcus P Knight.

If you enjoyed this blog, please support me on Patreon from just £1 a month and you’ll get to read a lot more of my writing.

Posted in Uncategorized

Lockdown Diary #33: Unicorn

The nine-year-old has been amusing herself by doing more arts and crafts. Above is a toilet roll unicorn she made. John joked, ‘That’s a very expensive unicorn!’

She’s also been writing a diary. Apparently people can die from boring homeschooling! Who knew?

Diary

This post has been made possible by my awesome Patreon supporters Peter Weilgony, Ricky Steer, Charlie Brooker, Mary and Tim Fowler, Steve Richards, Alan Brookland, Mark Ormandy, Oliver Vass, Keith Bell, John Fleming, Mark Bailey, Rebekah Bennetch, Matthew Sylvester, Brian Engler, Jack Scanlan, Dave Nattriss, MusicalComedyGuide.com, Aragorn Strider, Mark White, Lucy Spencer, Shane Jarvis, Emily Hill and Marcus P Knight.

If you enjoyed this blog, please support me on Patreon from just £1 a month and you’ll get to read a lot more of my writing.

Posted in Uncategorized

Lockdown Diary #32: Mansion

For years, I’ve dreamt about living in a stunning house like the one above in Regent’s Park. They’re located in two little roads called Park Village East and Park Village West, and I’d buy one if I won the EuroMillions (difficult, as I don’t do the EuroMillions!). They’re worth £8m each and are so, so beautiful, like fairy tale houses.

However, I am wondering whether the owners – and owners of other mansions – are cleaning them themselves right now? Because they probably can’t get their cleaners to come round! So they might have to actually do some manual labour for the first time ever, or in a very long time, or have a filthy house.

For once, I’m glad that my house is comparatively very tiny!

This post has been made possible by my awesome Patreon supporters Peter Weilgony, Ricky Steer, Charlie Brooker, Mary and Tim Fowler, Steve Richards, Alan Brookland, Mark Ormandy, Oliver Vass, Keith Bell, John Fleming, Mark Bailey, Rebekah Bennetch, Matthew Sylvester, Brian Engler, Jack Scanlan, Dave Nattriss, MusicalComedyGuide.com, Aragorn Strider, Mark White, Lucy Spencer, Shane Jarvis, Emily Hill and Marcus P Knight.

If you enjoyed this blog, please support me on Patreon from just £1 a month and you’ll get to read a lot more of my writing.

Posted in Uncategorized

Lockdown Diary #31: Balloons again

Lily’s very cute three-year-old half-sister came round earlier. She was very excited as the whole house is still decked out in confetti and balloons from last weekend’s party. I said she could have some balloons to take home, but Lily was a bit sad to lose her balloons, so I’ve now rashly promised to keep buying and blowing up balloons so that the whole house is always festooned with them! I buy them cheaply in big packs so they’ll cost me less than £40 a year.

Pretty sure this is bonkers but it does make the house look very bright and happy, so why not?!

This post has been made possible by my awesome Patreon supporters Peter Weilgony, Ricky Steer, Charlie Brooker, Mary and Tim Fowler, Steve Richards, Alan Brookland, Mark Ormandy, Oliver Vass, Keith Bell, John Fleming, Mark Bailey, Rebekah Bennetch, Matthew Sylvester, Brian Engler, Jack Scanlan, Dave Nattriss, MusicalComedyGuide.com, Aragorn Strider, Mark White, Lucy Spencer, Shane Jarvis, Emily Hill and Marcus P Knight.

If you enjoyed this blog, please support me on Patreon from just £1 a month and you’ll get to read a lot more of my writing.

Posted in Uncategorized

Lockdown Diary #30: Wrong

Today everything kept going wrong! First I went out to buy sweet potatoes for a vegan chilli and ended up buying white potatoes by mistake (what can I say? They were red and looked like sweet potatoes. I should have looked more closely, but was wearing goggles and trying to get in and out of the supermarket quickly, as you can imagine).

I decided to make the vegan chilli anyway, and then my induction hob decided to break in the middle of cooking, after I’d chopped all the veg. It’s been faulty for ages – years, in fact – and when it was in warranty, Miele sent blokes round FOUR TIMES to try and fix it, but they were unable to. A new one will cost me £759, and I can’t get one installed right now anyway, so I’m hobless (or should that be ‘hobbled’?!)

Thankfully I have a microwave and oven, so I improvised and put the pan in the latter. It was oven-safe but I forgot that it would be hot when I took it out, as it doesn’t heat up much on the induction hob. So now I have a lovely big blister on my hand! Marvellous.

Today would have been my third wedding anniversary, but I’m not superstitious so that has no significance whatsoever. Hopefully tomorrow will be a better day.

This post has been made possible by my awesome Patreon supporters Peter Weilgony, Ricky Steer, Charlie Brooker, Mary and Tim Fowler, Steve Richards, Alan Brookland, Mark Ormandy, Oliver Vass, Keith Bell, John Fleming, Mark Bailey, Rebekah Bennetch, Matthew Sylvester, Brian Engler, Jack Scanlan, Dave Nattriss, MusicalComedyGuide.com, Aragorn Strider, Mark White, Lucy Spencer, Shane Jarvis, Emily Hill and Marcus P Knight.

If you enjoyed this blog, please support me on Patreon from just £1 a month and you’ll get to read a lot more of my writing.

Posted in Uncategorized

Lockdown Diary #29: Touch

I miss touching people. Hugging them, and holding hands, and having massages. I spoke to my humanist funeral celebrant mentor yesterday, and we discussed how achingly sad it is that people with coronavirus have to die without their loved ones there holding their hands, and that their relatives are not allowed to attend funerals right now and comfort each other.

The power of human contact and touch can’t be underestimated. Loneliness is one of the biggest killers, alongside stress, malnutrition and lack of exercise. Babies who are held thrive more and grow faster than those who aren’t.

Lockdown is necessary right now. It’s also devastating to many. I hope we’re through to the other side very soon.

This post has been made possible by my awesome Patreon supporters Peter Weilgony, Ricky Steer, Charlie Brooker, Mary and Tim Fowler, Steve Richards, Alan Brookland, Mark Ormandy, Oliver Vass, Keith Bell, John Fleming, Mark Bailey, Rebekah Bennetch, Matthew Sylvester, Brian Engler, Jack Scanlan, Dave Nattriss, MusicalComedyGuide.com, Aragorn Strider, Mark White, Lucy Spencer, Shane Jarvis, Emily Hill and Marcus P Knight.

If you enjoyed this blog, please support me on Patreon from just £1 a month and you’ll get to read a lot more of my writing.

Posted in Uncategorized