Day #12: Time and patience

My body feels so much better when it’s lithe and slender. Now, my fingers are uncomfortably plump, my head rests on a chin cushion of fat and my stomach sits on my thighs when I’m on the toilet. I feel heavy and full and as though everything is an effort. I can’t wait to be skinny again.

The hardest thing about weight loss is it takes so much time, especially if you have a lot to lose, as I do. I’m reminded of Coldplay: ‘Nobody said it was easy/Nobody said it would be so hard’. The next lyric is ‘I’m going back to the start’, which is something I keep doing in my weight loss journey, yo-yoing and undoing all my good work.

Perhaps this is a chance to learn patience, and perseverance, and consistency, and restraint: four things I’m not very good at. I always want everything now, which goes for chocolate biscuits as much as career achievements. Maybe there’s something to be said for waiting, and striving, and letting the rewards fall where they may instead of grasping for them all the time.

Anyhow, now it’s time for beans on toast.

boston-baked-beans-671041_1920.jpg

Diet update

Days: 11

Total loss: 5.6lbs

Still need to lose: 61.8lbs

Scales

This post has been made possible by my awesome Patreon supporters Peter Weilgony, Ricky Steer, Marc Alexander, Sammy and Jelly, John Fleming, Mary Clarke, Matthew Sylvester, Brian Engler, Jack Scanlan, Dave Nattriss, MusicalComedyGuide.com, Mark White, Lucy Spencer, Shane Jarvis, Graham Nunn and Marcus P Knight.

They receive a whole host of exciting rewards in addition to this credit, including my secret never-published fiction and top secret photos! If you enjoyed this post, please support me on Patreon

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Day #11: When life gives you lemons

I weigh more again today. Clearly that’s my fault, and I have to take responsibility – but I’m pretty sure it’s also the fault of lemonade.

You see, I love the stuff. I drink diet lemonade at home (1 calorie per glass) so when I’m on tour, and the host kindly offers me a drink, I choose lemonade. Sweet, sour tangy lemonade always hits the spot.

I wasn’t really factoring it into my day, but I’ve since discovered that a pint of non-diet lemonade is 230 calories! And I was having two pints.

Next time, I’ll drink plain water. It’s boring, but at least it’s calorie-free.

On Reddit’s weight loss forum r/loseit (my guilty pleasure), whenever someone claims they can’t lose weight, Redditors tell them there must be hidden calories somewhere in their diet. I think we’ve found my hidden calories.

Today I’m going to be really good: start hitting my Apple Watch goals again, eat my five-a-day and weigh less again tomorrow. It’s hard to hit your Apple Watch goals on tour: if you’re seated on a packed train for three hours with people standing in the aisle and all your belongings under your seat, you can’t really get up and walk around! ‘Excuse me, I need to hit my Stand goal – can everybody move out of my way and clear a path for me?’

But I’m now home until Tuesday, so have three full days in which to be virtuous. I’m going to the cinema today with the eight-year-old to see Little Women, so my Stand ring on my Apple Watch is going to miss an hour – but I’ve woken up early so can still close it if I’m good.

I hope you all have a wonderful weekend.

Scales

Diet update

Days: 10

Total loss: 5.6lbs

Still need to lose: 61.8lbs

Takeaways

If you ‘can’t lose weight’, look for the hidden calories in your diet.

Remember that drinks can contain lots of calories as well as food.

Also bear in mind that calories in drinks don’t fill you up.

When offered a drink, it’s always best to choose water.

Quote of the Day

“Three months from now, you will thank yourself” – Anon

This post has been made possible by my awesome Patreon supporters Peter Weilgony, Ricky Steer, Marc Alexander, Sammy and Jelly, John Fleming, Mary Clarke, Matthew Sylvester, Brian Engler, Jack Scanlan, Dave Nattriss, MusicalComedyGuide.com, Mark White, Lucy Spencer, Shane Jarvis, Graham Nunn and Marcus P Knight.

They receive a whole host of exciting rewards in addition to this credit, including my secret never-published fiction and top secret photos! If you enjoyed this post, please support me on Patreon

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Day #10: Confession time

No, I didn’t binge. But I also didn’t weigh myself today.

I wasn’t scared to or anything, but I’ve been away on tour and my scales were just too heavy to bring (ironically!). They’re about 12lbs in weight, and lugging them down to Portsmouth would have meant there wasn’t room for everything else I needed to take in the suitcase. (And, possibly, that I couldn’t even lift the suitcase.)

I really intended to take them, as you probably read in my New Year’s Eve post – but it just wasn’t viable.

I woke up in a hotel in Portsmouth and there were no scales in the bathroom. I mostly avoided the breakfast buffet though, so that’s a win!

God I’m knackered though. Travelling really takes it out of you, which makes no sense as you’re sitting on your bum most of the time. Perhaps your body has to continually adjust to the motion or something?

Anyhow, next time I go on tour (next Tuesday and Wednesday, to the Isle of Wight) I’ll bring my tape measure along. It weighs next to nothing and should give me an indication of how I’m doing weight-wise.

Thanks for bearing with me, lovelies.

This post has been made possible by my awesome Patreon supporters Peter Weilgony, Ricky Steer, Marc Alexander, Sammy and Jelly, John Fleming, Mary Clarke, Matthew Sylvester, Brian Engler, Jack Scanlan, Dave Nattriss, MusicalComedyGuide.com, Mark White, Lucy Spencer, Shane Jarvis, Graham Nunn and Marcus P Knight.

They receive a whole host of exciting rewards in addition to this credit, including my secret never-published fiction and top secret photos! If you enjoyed this post, please support me on Patreon

 

 

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Day #9: Slipping up

Yesterday I slipped up, on the first tour date of the year. The super-lovely host gave me a box of Cadbury’s Heroes as a thank you present. I was feeling nauseous on the train due to a car journey, and thought ‘I’ll just have a couple of chocolates to settle my stomach’. One train journey later, the box was empty…

The thing about slipping up and bingeing is I always berate myself with negative self-talk. ‘Look what you’ve done! You’ll never be slim now. Is there any point in trying? You’ve undone all your good work.’ We speak to ourselves like we would never speak to a friend, let alone a child.

My lovely Facebook friend Vladimir Pyaskovsky sent me this BBC article on sticking to your goals. It’s worth reading in full, but it’s about cutting yourself slack and building in room for setbacks on the road to achievement. The final paragraph says “Perhaps, try not to be too hard on yourself if you receive a setback. The evidence suggests that we catastrophise our failures when we really ought to see them as excusable slips.”

In the spirit of that: I’ve still lost 6.2lbs in the past eight days. I just have to get up and keep going, and be kinder to myself. So now I’m going to go and have some porridge and berries, and start the new day.

IMG_4615.jpg

Diet update

Days: 8

Total loss: 6.2lbs

Still need to lose: 61.2lbs

This post has been made possible by my awesome Patreon supporters Peter Weilgony, Ricky Steer, Marc Alexander, Sammy and Jelly, John Fleming, Mary Clarke, Matthew Sylvester, Brian Engler, Jack Scanlan, Dave Nattriss, MusicalComedyGuide.com, Mark White, Lucy Spencer, Shane Jarvis, Graham Nunn and Marcus P Knight.

They receive a whole host of exciting rewards in addition to this credit, including my secret never-published fiction and top secret photos! If you enjoyed this post, please support me on Patreon

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Day #8: Over half a stone gone!

Just a tiny blog today (as I’m preparing to go to Chelmsford) to say that in just seven days, I’ve shed 7.2lbs. Super-happy and determined to keep it up!

This post has been made possible by my awesome Patreon supporters Peter Weilgony, Ricky Steer, Marc Alexander, Sammy and Jelly, John Fleming, Mary Clarke, Matthew Sylvester, Brian Engler, Jack Scanlan, Dave Nattriss, MusicalComedyGuide.com, Mark White, Lucy Spencer, Shane Jarvis, Graham Nunn and Marcus P Knight.

They receive a whole host of exciting rewards in addition to this credit, including my secret never-published fiction and top secret photos! If you enjoyed this post, please support me on Patreon

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Day #7: Setting off on tour!

Just a quick blog today as I’m preparing for my first two tour dates of the year: Chelmsford tomorrow, and Portsmouth on Thursday. There are now so many dates on the poster, we’ve had to put it on two columns!

Tour-poster-2020-(two-column)

It’s really difficult eating healthily and lightly when you’re on tour. Well-meaning and kind people always try to ply you with food, and most food you can buy on the go is unhealthy.

To solve this problem, I decided to buy peanuts to snack on when on tour, measuring them out in batches of 100 calories. However, because I wanted to be as healthy as possible, I decided to buy unsalted raw peanuts. Wrong! Today I discovered that unroasted and unsalted peanuts taste terrible. That must be why literally 99% of the peanuts you can buy are roasted and salted.

So I’ll be taking a trip to Tesco tomorrow to buy some healthy low-calorie snacks. Preparation is everything, as hunger is the enemy of dieting. If you let yourself get super-hungry – say, on a long train journey – that’s when you give into temptation, the snacks trolley and vending machines.

scales.jpg

Diet update

Days: 6

Total loss: 6.4lbs

Still need to lose: 61lbs

I mostly ate beans, houmous and oatcakes yesterday, as well as a very nice salad from EAT.

IMG_4596.jpg

I also tried to buy Greggs’ new vegan fake steak bake, but they’d sold out. Boooooooo!

Anyone want some raw peanuts? I have two giant jars full.

As ever, I hit my Apple Watch targets.

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Takeaways

Be aware that it’s harder dieting while travelling, and easier to fall prey to temptation.

Preparation is key. Go on a special shopping trip beforehand so you can pack and take healthy low-calorie snacks with you.

Quote of the Day

“The world as we have created it is a process of our thinking. It cannot be changed without changing our thinking.” ― Albert Einstein

This post has been made possible by my awesome Patreon supporters Peter Weilgony, Ricky Steer, Marc Alexander, Sammy and Jelly, John Fleming, Mary Clarke, Matthew Sylvester, Brian Engler, Jack Scanlan, Dave Nattriss, MusicalComedyGuide.com, Mark White, Lucy Spencer, Shane Jarvis, Graham Nunn and Marcus P Knight.

They receive a whole host of exciting rewards in addition to this credit, including my secret never-published fiction and top secret photos! If you enjoyed this post, please support me on Patreon.

Rewards start from just $1 a month for my weekly Patreon email. It’s like this blog, but I’m even more open in it (if you can imagine that!)

 

 

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Day #6: Why weight loss and healthy eating aren’t the same thing

Today I got a DM on Twitter from one of my favourite celebrities. They wrote:

“Read your blog about yet another strict regime to lose weight and then an immediate breach of it by polishing off an ice cream and then scoffing a muffin or whatever it was! The only way you’re ever going to conquer this is if you’re totally serious about it. xx”

I replied:

“You missed the bit where I still lost weight those days though! xx”

They retorted:

“That’s the point. You start losing weight then you spoil that by doing something daft. xx”

Lovely though they are, I have to beg to differ: it actually doesn’t really matter what you eat when it comes to weight loss. Eat less energy than you burn and you’ll lose weight.

Yes, there are arguments that a calorie isn’t a calorie – that the body absorbs more of some substances than others, etc – but it’s perfectly possible to lose weight while eating absolute crap. I know because I’ve done it.

I also know because a nutrition professor called Mark Haub proved this point by losing weight on a ‘convenience store diet’. In 2010, he ate a daily diet of powdered doughnuts, chocolate bars, Doritos, Oreos and sugary cereals for ten weeks, and lost 27lbs in the process.

Even though he was eating junk, the article above reports that Haub’s health indicators improved due to the weight loss: ‘his “bad” cholesterol, or LDL, dropped 20 percent and his “good” cholesterol, or HDL, increased by 20 percent. He reduced the level of triglycerides, which are a form of fat, by 39 percent.’

OK, so I’m not saying it’s the best idea to lose weight by eating doughnuts and chocolate. It’s certainly not my intention to lose my weight that way – I’d rather eat a healthy vegan diet as I know it’s better for my body. But if I do eat the odd muffin or chocolate ice cream, my weight loss won’t suffer, as long as I stick to 1,200 calories a day.

Conversely, yesterday I ate the perfect vegan diet:

Four slices of sourdough toast with almond butter and banana
Five super seeded oatcakes with houmous
Salad made of cherry tomatoes, celery, coriander, button mushrooms and yellow pepper
Big can of baked beans on sourdough toast
Raspberries and blackberries

… however, I ate too many calories to lose weight, and so my weight today was the same as it was yesterday.

Scales.jpg

Diet update

Days: 5

Total loss: 5.6lbs

Still need to lose: 61.8lbs

Exercise: hit all my Apple Watch goals again but didn’t do a run (if I had, it would have helped burn calories).

Apple Watch 1

Apple Watch 2

Takeaways:

It doesn’t really matter what you eat when it comes to weight loss. Eat less energy than you burn and you’ll lose weight.

A nutrition professor, Mark Haub, proved this point in 2010 by losing weight on a ‘convenience store diet’. He ate a daily diet of powdered doughnuts, chocolate bars, Doritos, Oreos and sugary cereals for ten weeks, and lost 27lbs.

Even though he was eating junk, Haub’s health indicators improved: ‘his “bad” cholesterol, or LDL, dropped 20 percent and his “good” cholesterol, or HDL, increased by 20 percent. He also reduced his level of triglycerides, which are a form of fat, by 39 percent.

It’s not the best idea to replicate his diet. Of course, a healthy diet (ideally vegan with some fish) is much better for your body.

However: if you do eat the odd muffin or chocolate ice cream, your weight loss won’t suffer, as long as you eat fewer calories than you expend.

Conversely, eat more than you burn and you won’t lose weight – however healthy the food is.

Quote of the Day

“You didn’t gain all your weight in one day; you won’t lose it in one day. Be patient with yourself.” – Jenna Wolfe

This post has been made possible by my awesome Patreon supporters Peter Weilgony, Ricky Steer, Marc Alexander, Sammy and Jelly, John Fleming, Mary Clarke, Matthew Sylvester, Brian Engler, Jack Scanlan, Dave Nattriss, MusicalComedyGuide.com, Mark White, Lucy Spencer, Shane Jarvis, Graham Nunn and Marcus P Knight.

They receive a whole host of exciting rewards in addition to this credit, including my secret never-published fiction and top secret photos! If you enjoyed this post, please support me on Patreon.

Rewards start from just $1 a month for my weekly Patreon email. It’s like this blog, but I’m even more open in it (if you can imagine that!)

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