Ariane Sherine

Another day of striving and eating less; another morning of failure on the scales. Zut alors! How can it be possible for me to eat fewer calories than I burn and actually gain weight? It defies the laws of physics! Isaac Newton is turning in his grave as I type.

However, let’s focus on the good news. I started the diet exactly three weeks ago, and my measurements have changed a lot.

My boobs were 40E. They’re now a 38D. Still large by anyone’s standards, but shrinking.

My waist was 41 inches. It’s now shrunk to an amazing 34 inches!

Lastly, my hips were 46 inches. They’ve decreased by two inches, and are now 44 inches.

The waist is the most important bit, as carrying fat around your waist is dangerous. And losing seven inches in three weeks is no mean feat! It’s an inch lost per three days, maths fans.

So yes: focusing on the positive makes sense, even if the scales are being profoundly annoying. It would be a real shame to quit now and undo all my hard work. Every time I consider giving up, I think, ‘How do I feel about being fat forever?’ And the answer is: demoralised. Admitting defeat is not in my nature.

Therefore: onwards and downwards!

Diet update

Days: 21

Total loss: 7.4lbs

Still need to lose: 60lbs

Takeaways

When you’re dieting hard but the scales aren’t showing results, measure yourself instead. You might be pleasantly surprised.

When thinking of quitting your diet, ask yourself: are you willing to be fat forever? If not, keep going.

This post has been made possible by my awesome Patreon supporters Peter Weilgony, Ricky Steer, Marc Alexander, Sammy and Jelly, John Fleming, Mary Clarke, Matthew Sylvester, Brian Engler, Jack Scanlan, Dave Nattriss, MusicalComedyGuide.com, Mark White, Lucy Spencer, Shane Jarvis, Graham Nunn and Marcus P Knight.

They receive a whole host of exciting rewards in addition to this credit, including my secret never-published fiction and top secret photos! If you enjoyed this post, please support me on Patreon. 

At last, the tiniest bit of movement on the scales. If they hadn’t budged today, after a whole day of being ascetic and weighing and measuring every morsel, I might have given up and caved into the twin temptations of pizza and chocolate.

Thanks for all your comments, by the way. They’re greatly appreciated and let me know that people are reading and caring. I have to keep reminding myself that these dull days where nobody knows or sees what I eat are paving the way for the big events this year which I want to be slim for: my birthday, my book launch, and my humanist celebrant training.

Diet update

Days: 20

Total loss: 8lbs

Still need to lose: 59.4lbs

This post has been made possible by my awesome Patreon supporters Peter Weilgony, Ricky Steer, Marc Alexander, Sammy and Jelly, John Fleming, Mary Clarke, Matthew Sylvester, Brian Engler, Jack Scanlan, Dave Nattriss, MusicalComedyGuide.com, Mark White, Lucy Spencer, Shane Jarvis, Graham Nunn and Marcus P Knight.

They receive a whole host of exciting rewards in addition to this credit, including my secret never-published fiction and top secret photos! If you enjoyed this post, please support me on Patreon. 

Yesterday I tried really hard on the diet. I weighed and measured and counted everything I ate, stayed completely ‘on plan’ (I’m a member of Slimming World) and was really looking forward to weighing myself today and seeing a huge loss – and yet, I’m stuck at 12st 0.8lbs.

It’s as though my scales are faulty, though I’m sure they’re not. It’s also incredibly frustrating. But I just have to trust that if I keep dieting and doing everything right, I’ll see a loss very soon. Then I can stop using the same bloody picture every post!

Diet update

Days: 19

Total loss: 7.6lbs

Still need to lose: 59.8lbs

This post has been made possible by my awesome Patreon supporters Peter Weilgony, Ricky Steer, Marc Alexander, Sammy and Jelly, John Fleming, Mary Clarke, Matthew Sylvester, Brian Engler, Jack Scanlan, Dave Nattriss, MusicalComedyGuide.com, Mark White, Lucy Spencer, Shane Jarvis, Graham Nunn and Marcus P Knight.

They receive a whole host of exciting rewards in addition to this credit, including my secret never-published fiction and top secret photos! If you enjoyed this post, please support me on Patreon. 

I weigh the same today, as I ate a bit more yesterday. There was a really interesting study published a couple of years ago where dieters ate less for two weeks, then ate the amount that would make them plateau for two weeks – for 32 weeks in total. There was a control group who dieted all the time. The group who cycled their diets lost twice as much weight.

I’m wondering whether the same thing would work if you did it day-on, day-off. Only one way to find out! I’m going to start trying it. Let’s see what happens…

Diet update

Days: 16

Total loss: 7.6lbs

Still need to lose: 59.8lbs

This post has been made possible by my awesome Patreon supporters Peter Weilgony, Ricky Steer, Marc Alexander, Sammy and Jelly, John Fleming, Mary Clarke, Matthew Sylvester, Brian Engler, Jack Scanlan, Dave Nattriss, MusicalComedyGuide.com, Mark White, Lucy Spencer, Shane Jarvis, Graham Nunn and Marcus P Knight.

They receive a whole host of exciting rewards in addition to this credit, including my secret never-published fiction and top secret photos! If you enjoyed this post, please support me on Patreon.